The Movie Asylum

Feb 07

Movies I watched, Dec. 2012-Jan. 2013

I upped my movie-watching for screenplay research. The byproduct is that I have far too many movie reviews to write. They will be brief, but at least you will have the rating for each and every one of them.

By the way, McConaughey. The hardest celebrity name to spell. The name is douchey; it has too many vowels in the middle of it there.

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn—Part II” 6/10 [The battle was all it had going for it. I don’t think the author understood that her plot was riddled with holes, and petty personal problems. Battle was pretty sweet though. Especially that “GOTCHA” moment. Classic.]
“Monty Python’s Life of Brian” 8/10 [Between “The Holy Grail” and “Life of Brian,” I’d say “Life of Brian” is the smarter of the two.]
“The Holiday” 7/10 [Yes, it’s about time I watched this film. What is there to say about it, except that it’s a very lovely (and joyous) time.]
“The Ladykillers (1955)” 8/10 [It’s a classic, no doubt. Genius portrayal by Sir Alec Guinness. Leaves you with a smile.]
“Nutty Professor II: The Klumps” 5.5/10 [I’ve just got to say: the premise was genius. For a “Jekyll and Hyde” theme, to separate the two entities into two separate people was very smart. Problem is, Buddy Love is the butt of jokes for a lot of the film, rather than a character focus. Oh well.]
“The Ladykillers (2004)” 7/10 [Tom Hanks does very very well in Guinness’s shoes as the villainous Professor. The script’s structure has been extended and refocused, but it serves very well in making the film its own, as well as updating it for modern audiences.]
“Cedar Rapids” 7.5/10 [It was those old, bright yellow internet ads that drove me to eventually watching this film after all, despite its zero-to-no marketing buzz. Well worth the trip. Very sweet pic.]
“Scooby-Doo (2002)” 4.75/10 (Re-Review) [The clever aspect of this film is that it separates the Mystery Gang so that their individual attributes stick out and become an origin story focus. Very smart. But Raja Gosnell’s sweet schtick won’t solve a lot of the other directorial problems he brings along with him. Another curious aspect is their fine line between “magic” and “science” which the series tread so lightly on (always leaving it in favor of science to conclude the mystery without loose ends)…clearly just a flaw. It mostly plays out as a TV movie special.]
“Bedazzled (2000)” 6/10 [Initially, the film is genius. Eventually, its multiple-wishes structure wears thin, but the payoff is still sweet (and unexpected). It’s slightly cliché what they did with their ending, without giving into its Faustian roots too heavily. Left it with a more solid late ’90s comedy tone.]
“Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” 6.75/10 [I remember this film played opposite “Spider-Man 3” when it came out in theaters, and I wasn’t dating anyone that would’ve wanted to see it at the time: but now I have, alone, and it’s fun. Surprisingly funny and surprisingly interesting to see McConaughey play the same role he’s played before multiple times…just not quite like this.]
“A Guy Thing” 5.5/10 [Predictable? Yes. Clichéd? Perhaps. But Jason Lee (and that fine-ass Selma Blair) make the most of it. I’m always up for a Jason Lee movie (even “Alvin and the Chipmunks” and “Stealing Harvard” on occasion. No judgey).]
“Skyfall” 8/10 [I don’t know about Oscars Best Picture material…but it’s certainly the best Bond film since “Casino Royale.” Though this film ends in a way that will please every last Bond film on the planet, and Javier Bardem’s Sylva is perfect villain, I think “Casino Royale” was comparatively Bond’s day.]
“Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed” 5/10 [I must say: what a clever fucking title. These marketing guys get it! Anyways, it’s better than the first one by a margin. They have more fun with Scooby, and focus on the slackers of the group for heart. Also, going back to old villains and reusing their images was a nice touch. Still, it’s more of the same.]
“Star Wars: The Clone Wars” 3.5/10 [Don’t get me wrong: I actually like the animated Cartoon Network series. I watch it often. But this movie was just not up to movie standards. At all. The dialogue got ran through a cliché one-liner blender and the animation was cruder than I’d have liked (or anyone up to DreamWorks Animation standards). Also, the Hutt subplot was a tad uninteresting.]
“Mr. & Mrs. Smith” 8/10 (Re-Review) [The Unrated DVD version is what I last watched, and it solved every flaw I had with the initial version. Just awesome. The relationship dynamic between these two characters is flawless.]
“Dinner For Schmucks” 8/10 (Re-Review) [Sure, it makes me really sad, like getting punched in the gut. The way they treat Steve Carell is just a bummer, because he’s Kenneth-level nice. But the jokes and hijinks are flawlessly executed by the modern comedic genius Jay Roach. That end dinner scene? YES.]
“LiTTLEMAN” 4.5/10 [It’s a Wayans picture. You know exactly what to expect. It’s low-brow, obvious, but any movie with a gag about Brittany Daniel’s breasts (circa 2006) finds itself on my chuckle radar. Critically, it’s bad, but I laughed.]
“The Haunted Mansion” 5.5/10 [Eddie Murphy just didn’t try to find a character here. He got stood up by Terence Stamp (no surprise). An often overlooked piece of Disney pie, it’s cooky! It’s spooky! It’s sweet! It just needed more here to play with.]
“Looper” 8.5/10 [It’s as good as they say it is. There’s something about it…maybe speeding up the pace, maybe taking out one unnecessary scene somewhere…but it just barely scrapes under a 9/10. It’s still one of the smartest sci-fi films in recent years. Better than “Source Code.”]
“Jack Reacher” 7.5/10 [Very good. Smarter than expected. Sure, it’s just an action vehicle for Tom Cruise. But he does it well, and the mystery is very smart. Exciting action. Currently awaiting word on a sequel.]
“Resident Evil: Retribution” 6.5/10 [A little obvious in its video game level structuring, but it has some of the best action the series has yet to offer. Keeping up with its “each one is a bit better than the last” creed, this one just beats “Afterlife.” Here’s hoping installment 6 is the best of them, and a solid finale.]
“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” 7.5/10 [It’s not the “Lord of the Rings” film we all wanted. But it fulfilled its duties. In a prequel format, the story deals with not-as-intense scenarios so as to not top its sequels, “The Lord of the Rings,” which deals with the battle for all of Middle-Earth. This is a quaint, simple story of Bilbo and his journey with dwarves to save Erebor. In that, and building up to one of the greatest cinematic stories of all time, it works. Martin Freeman is flawless as Bilbo, McKellan has been missed as Gandalf the Grey, and Gollum is a standout (as usual). It’s worth the ticket.]
“This is 40” 6.5/10 [As much as I generally love Apatow’s work (“Funny People” aside), this film just doesn’t generally seem to have a thesis. It takes us sitcom-style through the lives of two people, without much of a central conflict to drive the story forward. It attempts to capture this state-of-being 40-years-old, but seems a bit distracted with all the different subplots.]
“Liberal Arts” 7/10 [As a fan of Josh Radnor, I needed to check out his directorial debut. Solid acting ensemble. Zac Efron needs a mention for his against-typecast role as a omniscient stoner.]
“The Guilt Trip” 5/10 [It’s Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand in a PG-13 mother-son comedy. It is what it is.]
**”Django Unchained” 8.75/10 [It’s very good. I think it’s better than “Inglorious Basterds,” and almost just as good as “Kill Bill, Vol. 1.” Hilarious, gory, and clever. The characters are all solid.]
“Superman III” 6.75/10 [I don’t know if I’m wrong in this rating, but I think “Superman III” is good enough as is. Richard Pryor deserved better, but I think his character was still interesting. Mixing tar into kryptonite was smart, and Lana Lang being a part of the plot made this “Smallville” fan happy (a much younger Annette O’Toole even played the part). Also, having a new, more plausible villain than Lex Luthor made the plot drive better.]
“The Five-Year Engagement” 7.5/10 [I love Jason Segal and Nicholas Stoller, so it was a given I’d see this one eventually. However, if the conclusion of the film were simply that “people have problems but it shouldn’t matter in light of marriage,” they could’ve found a breezier way to say that (running time: 132 min extended cut).]
“Mac & Devin Go To High School” 3.5/10 [Snoop Dogg. Wiz Khalifa. Andy Milanokis. Mike Epps. That is what the movie is. Sit back and load a bowl to it, and you may have more fun with it. I just thought there were a few good comedy moments, mixed in with some “oh well” acting by Khalifa. At least it’s a short film.]
**”Mama” 6.75/10 [Good. The creature and scare effects are all well-done (Del Toro’s hand is evident in the darker designs). Jessica Chastain is EVEN HOTTER (as if it were possible). A lot of people have issue with the ending, but I thought it was alright. Overall, what sticks out most is the semi-tragic story at its core.]
“Evil Dead II” 8.25/10 [The ending was a twist in its time, but I saw it coming. The ending is what generally sells the entire film. Also, Bruce Campbell returning as Ash made the series what it is. Without him and his uncanny natural talent for slapstick, it wouldn’t have been as fun. Also, the surreal quality to the scare gags give it a unique atmosphere. Kudos, Raimi and Co.]
“Army of Darkness” 6.75/10 [I genuinely wished they could give it its proper title (no thanks to copyright): “Evil Dead III: The Medieval Dead.” Either way, it’s not a horror film like the last two. It’s a sword-and-sandals picture with skeletons in it. Sure, it has some clever tortures (the clone Ash sequence) that keep it a solid transition between Dead II and Army. Overall though, for “Evil Dead” fans, this is a letdown, but it’s fun in its own right.]
“House At The End Of The Street” 7.5/10 [Oh yes. That was one clever-as-fuck little horror story. Almost as though Stephen King wrote it himself. The title makes it seem generic, but it’s far from. It establishes its characters as more than just death-fodder (looking at you, “Friday the 13th”). The multiple twists I did NOT see coming. Why was this film not promoted more under a better title? It deserved it.]
“Ghost Adventures (2004)” 7.5/10 [The initial documentary, establishing the “Ghost Adventures” TV crew and exploring the places they went to that first confirmed paranormal forces to them. It’s more personal, more tightly focused, with multiple locations, but it’s the “flying brick” sequence that sells it all.]
“The Possession” 5.75/10 [For script research, I made it a point to watch all of the Sam Raimi-produced horror films under his Ghost House Pictures* banner. This was the latest one, which gets points for focusing on a more original religious/cultural sect than usual. Also, for Jeffrey Dean Morgan turning in his best performance in a while. The demon at the end (Abizu) was well-designed, and the mythos surrounding the dibbuk was intriguing. Unfortunately, especially given the production company behind it, the scares aren’t quite all there.] *Ghost House Pictures includes: “The Possession,” “The Messengers 1&2,” “The Grudge 1-3,” “Drag Me To Hell,” “30 Days of Night,” and “Boogeyman 1-3.”
“Paranormal Activity 4” 6.5/10 [I liked it, and had almost as much dread as the other installments. It just ran a little thin. Also, as far as plotholes are concerned…every prior installment, the filming people would watch the footage from the night before, and the compelling evidence fueled the plot. Not so in this film; they only look at the footage once or twice…and as it turns out, the evidence is more compelling than ever.]
“Silent Hill” 8/10 [I CANNOT BELIEVE it took me this long to watch this film! I loved it! I think it’s an amazing film! The scope, the structure, the setpieces, all perfect for this story. Shame the director didn’t return for the sequel, “Silent Hill: Revelation.”]
“10 Years” 7.75/10 [The cast: amazing. The story: a touch generic, sure, but the characters pull it in all-new directions. The laughs? The cries? The moments? Yep, it surprises you.]
“My Week With Marilyn” 7.75/10 [I’m so happy this movie exists. It strips away the glamour, the glitz, and leaves the humanity behind making a film between two opposing forces in the Hollywood world: the artist, and the star. The movie getting made was surely the focus, the drive, but “My Week With Marilyn” needed to follow its protagonist’s story, which is not belittled in any way here. Eddie Redmayne makes it work.]
“Silent Hill: Revelation” 5.5/10 [We all wanted a sequel to “Silent Hill.” But 6 years later, we got a mini-budget version. Is it all we wanted? No. It checks off the requisite boxes on the checklist, but it wasn’t much more than that. Mostly I feel its budget squandered it in some places. The mannequin spider was great.]
“Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan” 3.75/10 [It was Jason on a boat to Manhattan. That’s really what happened here. It was the same exact plot, except the boat went to Manhattan. He didn’t reek havoc in the city, is my point. So the premise isn’t flawed: at the script stage, when they stuck a boat in 3/4s of the film, that’s when it was flawed.]
“The Apparition” 5.5/10 [The premise was intriguing. The actors were good enough. Ashley Greene is hot as fuuuu. Its brisk pacing saves the film…if it had a different editor, it would have a worse rating.]
“Poltergeist” 8/10 [Is it scary? Eh. But the story is great. One of the best of the genre, in my opinion…especially for that ending.]
“The Grudge 2” 6/10 [It spends the better part of the film slacking on Amber Tamblyn’s part of the story. But as fans know, the “Grudge” series jumps back and forth through time, and once they focus on the other two subplots, it builds to one of the greatest finales ever. Very satisfying ending. Tayako and Toshio’s ghosts will be forever engrained in my memory.]
“Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday” 5.75/10 [It’s better than a lot of the others, mostly due to its sense of finality. Each film in the series didn’t try to progress, it simply imitated. This one finally progressed the series. Also, the body-swapping plot was new-ish. The blade from “Evil Dead” and the glove from “A Nightmare on Elm Street” both cameo, to my personal satisfaction.]
“Poltergeist II: The Other Side” 7/10 [Sometimes I wonder about the flack that sequels get…this sequel not only build a twisty-turny mythology behind the poltergeists, but this one pushed the limits of the first one. Sure, overall it’s not quite as effective (special effects for ’80s horror rarely hold up well), but it still should not be ignored as a solid installment in this franchise.]
“Se7en” 8.5/10 [Never would’ve thought that a film about the seven deadly sins would’ve proved to be so timely…nor how much it would be imitated over the next couple of decades. Quite the murder mystery, this gem. Brad seems a slight miscast until the end…that ending for his character is one of the great scenes of cinematic history. Even considering Andrew Kevin Walker wrote it.]
“Dark Water (2005)” 5.75/10 [Watched this awhile back, but never reviewed it. It’s much like many other of the Asian horror subgenre. Not much new about this one, except that the gross water is somehow supposed to genuinely scare me.]
“The Messengers” 5.5/10 [Kristen Stewart, I could watch make paint dry with her curled bottom lip. Sexy sexy. But this film is still pretty thin. Crows are as scary as dark water.]
“A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors” 6.75/10 [It has a better story, and more atmosphere than some of the other sequels (2, 4 come to mind). Still, Patricia Arquette in anything drops the rating down a tad. She’s just flat and bland. Thankfully replaced in the subsequent sequels featuring Alice.]
“Jason X” 3.5/10 [This film was once described as “porn production standards.” Very accurate. This film is pretty awful…until Uber-Jason emerges. That was sorta worth the wait.]
“The Grudge 3” 5/10 [More of the same, though progressing slightly from the sequels. However, the creepy atmosphere that made the first two so successful is somehow vacant in this film. Kayako and Toshio become caricatures by the end, in taking away their elusive scariness.]
“Poltergeist III” 4.5/10 [For some reason, the Freeley’s are gone. Heather O’Rourke’s been adopted into a family in an apartment, offering new settings to the same scares. Whatever yuppie apartment the production ended up with, apparently it wasn’t fresh enough. They also do not progress the mythos at all.]
“The Skeleton Key” 4.5/10 [The semi-interesting twist and the hoodoo practices involved aren’t enough to support the languid first half. But Kate Hudson has never looked finer. Sexy sexy in the horror genre where not so sexy sexy in rom-coms. Hmm.]
“Our Idiot Brother” 7.5/10 [Love the premise. A guy is genuinely nice and sweet and innocent, and when all hell breaks loose, it’s not his fault…but he’s blamed for it. Lovely film. Paul Rudd has never had a better acting showcase. It displays all the qualities we love about Paul Rudd, and then some.]
“A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master” 4.5/10 [Except for being a bridge between parts 3 and 5, this film kind of twitches around finding something to do…but it doesn’t hold up.]
“A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child” 6/10 [A noticeable step-up from Part 4. Delving into the fascinating myth of Amanda Krueger and the horrid conception of the demon child, this installment is a considerable departure from the “same-old” feel that has plagued the series. Better, fresh plot (also: babies sleep 70% percent of the day in the womb…genius). Judging by this film, it’s no coincidence that Freddy’s Dead in Part 6.]

Dec 31

Ok so I lied. I’ll have to post those movie reviews in the new year. I’ve been far too busy, and now prepping for New Year’s Eve festivities has commandeered all my spare time.

See you in the new year!

Happy 2013!

Dec 30

I apologize for my blog’s inactivity lately. I know I haven’t posted in 1.5 months.

Rest assured: reviews are coming soon.

And there are way too many of them. As of this moment, there’s 21 reviews I have to do tomorrow afternoon.

I’m not lol’ing.

Nov 16

Movies I watched, Nov. 2012:

I’m just going to sum up November in a nutshell, even though it’s basically only halfway over.

And trust me, there’s a lot of them.

“Safety Not Guaranteed” 8/10 [Whimsical. Sweet. The entire film is putty in the actors’ hands, and they mold a touching tale of an outcast finding a partner to conquer life with…in a way only partners could. Aubrey Plaza is fine btw ;) ]
“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” 7/10 [After all the crappy reviews/box office receipts, this was a pleasant surprise. It’s not the hijinks of Burton and Bekmambetov’s collaborating that highlights the film, like everyone was expecting, but rather it’s the story that’s the highlight. Sit back; it’s more solid than expected.]
“Bolt” 7/10 [It’s fun…and at first, it’s quite clever. Yet by the end, it finds that typical Disney formula, keeping it from being a smash, but rather just amusing.]
“Bachelorette” 7.5/10 [It’s hard to say no to this genuinely funny, well-cast gem. Kirsten Dunst is even worth watching here, and I won’t say that often. If ever.]
“Rock of Ages” 6/10 [One part cool retro rock opera w/ great cast members, one part boring clichéd rags-to-riches romance between young bland leads, it’s uneven due to this narrative’s disconnect. I know it was a central part to the Broadway musical…but if they were going to adapt it, they needed to streamline certain parts of the story. P.S. One of Tom Cruise’s best. Flat-out.]
“The Campaign” 7/10 [Wow…that was actually quite impressive. Good work, Ferrell and Galifianakis. I lol’d quite a bit. Jay Roach has continued his comedic winning streak.]
“A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge” 5.5/10 [It had some cool twists and turns on the mythos of the first film (I love the school bus gag), but this still falls as a faint retread.]
“Heartbreakers” 8/10 [That shit was exactly what I hoped this movie would be. The women: sexy. The men: gullible buffoons. The con: clever. Well-written and well-acted. Why hasn’t this romantic comedy seen more play in the last decade?]
“The Company Men” 7/10 [It may be a bit longwinded on its premise, but it’s a character-focused piece, and as such requires each plot (some better than others) to be resolved. It’s a solid film on the job-market these days, if a little unspectacular. Reenacting the tragedies of modern America doesn’t make them any less tragic…is the hope this film attempts to instill with its happy ending really effective in overshadowing the prior tragedies its characters went through? You decide.]
“The Mummy (1999)” 6.5/10 (Re-Review) [Its dated special effects, its obvious punchlines, and its standard adventure romance don’t hold up. What does hold up, however, is the cast’s charm. Though the mummy Imhotep is really not that scary, to see the protagonists triumph is really where the enjoyment lies.]
“The Mummy Returns” 7/10 (Re-Review) [Better production value. Better direction. Better acting. Better music. Better special effects. Better scope. Let’s face it: it’s no longer monster horror…it’s action adventure, and this is one of those guilty-pleasure action vehicles that keeps the action going effectively. Plus that Anubis army is just so cool!]
“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” 5/10 (Re-Review) [If you watched the trailer before you watched the movie, the trailer gave the best parts away. 4 years later: I don’t remember the trailer. This movie went from one of the worst I’ve ever seen to ok. A couple of punchlines and surprises are still maintained. However, Rachel Weisz’s absence irks franchise fans and a terracota clay army is not quite as cool as an Anubis army…that doesn’t change with time.]
“The Rite” 5.5/10 [Let’s just say it’s typical exorcism fare. With Anthony Hopkins.]
“Casino Jack” 7.75/10 [Kevin Spacey is flawless here. It’s a great story, though its narrative ends should’ve been streamlined a tad more, for it makes for some unevenness. Regardless, it’s a clever film, entertaining, well-cast, funny, dark.]
“Star Wars: Episode II—Attack of the Clones” 6.5/10 [Jedi mystery to be solved, along with an awkward angsty romance: better than “Phantom Menace,” while still not quite matching fan’s expectations. As far as “franchise bridges” are concerned, this connects Ep. I & III well enough.]
“Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith” 7.5/10 [Hayden Christensen’s acting aside, Anakin’s arc needed to be a bit more convincing on paper. Otherwise, this stands as the best of the prequels, and takes a book out of the original trilogy’s contemplative, meditative nature for some of the quieter moments here. Also, reaches for profundity on occasion, which is always welcome.]
“Hitch” 7/10 [Some parts…eh. Some parts…too formulaic! Most parts…yeah that’s pretty funny/cute/charming. This movie has more cleverness and clout than I initially recognized, for its romantic comedy shell kept it covered with clichés.]
“Rio” 7/10 [The colors, the music, the charm. That’s why it was a success. But maybe it was just a little too simple for me.]
“The Nutty Professor (1996)” 8/10 [Wow I’m shocked I hadn’t yet seen this. Tom Shadyac is a modern comedic genius on par w/ Jay Roach, minus the fact that he’s stopped making movies. Shame. We could use way more of this gold.]
“40 Days and 40 Days” 7/10 [For how the script will occasionally deviate into typical raunch-comedy-set-up, it does manage to eek out some nice sentimental truths on relationships. Also, I was seriously lol’ing. And kinda horny by the end of it.]
“Cars 2” 5.75/10 [It’s not that it’s bad, persay. It’s that it’s so atypical…a word that infrequently accompanies a PIXAR title. It’s a product, though still a mildly diverting one.]
“Fight Club” 8.75/10 [Wow. I’m glad I rewatched this. Every line is profound and/or a statement on consumerism. Rich with details you’ll catch the 50th time watching, and characters you will always root for, this film is entertaining as fuck.]
“Casper” 6.75/10 [That friendly ghost made me cry. Wtf. It’s just…*sniff*…it’s so sweeeeet…and on a sidenote, they have that cartoony/gothic haunted house aesthetic down to a T!]
“The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” 4.5/10 [It’s cool to see some of these literary figures working together and in action, even if it’s in obvious, cheesy, or redundant ways. The Phantom is cheesy, the villain’s plot a little obvious (bomb-bomb-bomb), and none of the smarts of the graphic novel make their way past the insta-Hollywood product machine. Shame.]
“Galaxy Quest” 7.5/10 [Fun satire of Trek fandom. “Star Trek,” “Galaxy Quest”…get it? Tim Allen has one of his better roles here. Alan Rickman lightens up (only slightly) for a great sarcastic comedic turn. Sigourney Weaver…well she’s lookin’ very fine here!]

Oct 24

Movies I watched, Oct. 24, 2012:

I almost didn’t want to write this because I knew it would be a long write.

First off, finished “Nip/Tuck” and “That ’70s Show,” and I’m blazing my way through “South Park” now. I’m fairly satisfied with all of them as solid television work.

”The Faculty” 7.5/10 [Surprisingly solid Robert Rodriguez work. Beginning is a bit hammy, but it finds its stride. Cast features a young Elijah Wood.]
“The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” 2/10 [Probably the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life. Features same issue as “Howard the Duck” where the technology fails to convince, and comes off as hokey and cheap (even though in reality, it was quite expensive at the time). The kids are grotesque, and not in the way the film preaches. Rather, in a cheap, crappy distracting way.]
“Caddyshack” 7/10 [I’ve finally seen the comedy classic. What do I think? The comedians all got to shine, it was funny. It didn’t change my life though.]
“Moonrise Kingdom” 9/10 [Great acting work from the elaborate cast, and genius direction from Wes Anderson. The entire film is so farcical, it’s charming.]
“Click” 6/10 [Also the first time I’ve seen this comedy. It was mundane in its direction, not capitalizing on its premise with solid behind-the-camera work. However, despite this, (and despite misusing eternal beauty Kate Beckinsale) I think it could be critiqued as solid writing given a metaphorical lens of addiction, and its power of making life pass by. Otherwise, Sandler is just Sandler and Walken is as fun as ever. It all adds up to being average.]
“Man of the House” 5/10 [I thought it would be fun to see Tommy Lee Jones ham it up for a teen comedy. That’s basically what he did. That’s what I expected. The young teen girl cast is hot btw!]
“That’s My Boy” 6/10 [The premise was genius: Andy Samberg is Adam Sandler’s son, R-Rated style. So why didn’t it work? Because Adam Sandler was in it. If he dialed back on his comedic schtick (here meaning a different way of being obnoxious he invents right before walking onto set the first day of shooting), it’d have been better. Billy Madison, Waterboy, Little Nicky, etc all had different schticks…maybe the schtick isn’t funny. Maybe the character needs to be.]
“Zathura” 5.75/10 [The pace needed a little pick-up. The action beats are a bit too far apart, and the premise can’t fill a 113 min. running time. Should’ve been a 93 min. running time instead. I could feel Favreau’s directorial hand behind the frames, which was a bonus, as it helped keep the tone from going PG-13.]
“Safe House” 7/10 [I think Denzel Washington is stuck in this mindset that his villains are scarier if they are twisted mentors. It worked for “Training Day,” but hasn’t been the same lightning in a bottle since. Not with “American Gangster,” and not with “Safe House,” both of which are solid work, but nothing as powerful nor threatening for the protagonist to overcome. Good for a night in…just don’t expect it to get the heart racing too fast.]
“Kinsey” 7.5/10 [Of course I’m wary of a biopic on the socially bludgeoned Alfred Kinsey, but they do a beautiful job here of keeping the darker edges of his story subjective so they can paint a more detailed portrait. Wonderful film.]
“High Fidelity” 7/10 [Not that great, but it’s ok. Jack Black does his usual. John Cusack does his usual. The thing that’s different is the plot, which is structured like a countdown clock as they count back a few ex-girlfriends of the protagonist in detail. Gets a little tedious.]
“Shakespeare in Love” 8/10 [A very clever way to refreshen how we look at the Bard of Avon, and what must have been as passionate an inspiration he had in order to write such passionate inspired work. We quite often forget the man’s tale alongside the tales he spun.]
“Top Gun” 6/10 [Just…not even well-shot. If the aerial fights were better shot, maybe it’d have at least impressed me as an action film. I’m not sure why this was so popular, besides Tom Cruise’s popularity at the time.]
“Wrath of the Titans” 5.5/10 [Finally saw this one. Some of the action beats are badass as hell. But the story is so average that I hardly care. At least the protagonist was a shy more intriguing, and the action was more brutal than the preceding “Clash of the Titans.”]
**”Frankenweenie (2012)” 7.5/10 [A nice return to form for Tim Burton, who reaches new heights of sentimentality for himself here. The movie works as a sweet story of a boy and his dog, but the true genius is how Burton expanded the premise from his original live-action short and twisted it into a genius monster mash climax. That is what got my geek flag waving in the IMAX theater.]
“Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted” 7.5/10 [This is quite a head-scratcher of a film. The individual leads’ stories are bundled together in this installment, and yet it’s more satisfying that way. Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman have a group mentality here, which has a nice emotional payoff for the trilogy’s over-arcing story. Also, some of the coolest visuals of the series to date.]
“Robot Chicken: Star Wars” 7.5/10 [Very clever material. Led to a far more successful formula than MacFarlane’s reenactment parody “Blue Harvest” trilogy.]
“Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II” 8/10 [Actually improves on the original with smarter jokes.]
“Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode III” 7/10 [MacFarlane’s efforts to work in a story arc for the Emperor is a bit heavy-handed here in this 45 min. episode. Makes it more episodic than sketch comedic, which in the prior “Star Wars” parodies had been its very strength.]
“Hostel: Part III” 7.5/10 [We know the premise, and the formula. I was surprised by the lack of sexy lead-in the horror usually has, but it was a tighter, meaner machine than its predecessor (I have not seen “Part II”).

Sep 25

Movies I watched, Sept. 25, 2012:

It’s been two weeks. How many movies have I watched in two weeks?

Well, I haven’t committed to finishing “That ’70s Show.” It’s just fluff now in its 8th season. It was a shameless ratings ploy to try and finish the show this way. It’s pointless and degrading to not only its fanbase, but the cast and crew behind it all. We expected more of you.

“Nip/Tuck” managed to survive a semi-lackluster season 4 and bounced back beautifully (and ingeniously) with its Los Angeles revamp. Halfway through season 5 now: 8.5/10

And to answer that prior question: 11. Eleven fuckin’ movies.

“Dogtooth” 9/10 [This movie was an intellectual puzzle. No premise is given from the start, and yet it manages to feel as though there is a conflict embedded in the situations. So unfolds the intricate tapestry this Greek film has woven.]
“Friends With Kids” 5/10 [Man, fuck this movie. Not only is it the first unlikable performance I’ve ever seen Adam Scott give, but after its elaborate advertisements stating it would be “the next ‘Bridesmaids,’” this is quite a fuckin’ drag. Only a few moments of comedic cleverness save it from being a wreck.]
“The Woman in Black” 7/10 [You know what was great about “Insidious?” Practical effects. The Woman in Black herself was a CGI creation that, in one single camera shot, deflated all tension by using a screaming soundbite straight off of Adobe Soundbooth. Prior to that, it was quite a lovely Gothic ghost story. Recommended in general, despite that. The opening sequence was flawless. I wouldn’t repeal a positive review of “The Amazing Spider-Man” just because the Lizard’s CGI was horrendous. I won’t do the same here either. I am indeed intrigued by this film’s upcoming sequel, regardless.]
“Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son” 4.5/10 [First off, despite Brandon T. Jackson definitely having talent (Booty Sweat, baby), even he couldn’t save this shit. The tone rightfully returned to one similar to the 2000 original (rather than the 2006 ill-advised cutesy sequel), but it didn’t have the cast nor writers the original did. Martin Lawrence needs to rewatch his own “Martin” sitcom and remember why people cared in the first place. This material is too polished for Mr. Lawrence.]
“Quantum of Solace” 7.5/10 (Re-Review) [I’m so incredibly glad I gave “Quantum of Solace” another try. I hadn’t seen it since opening night, 2008. It was (of course) not as brilliant as “Casino Royale,” but it is definitely better than the average Bond film. In fact, it’s downright solid. The villain wasn’t particularly memorable, but his plot was clever. Make sure to check out both “Casino Royale” and “Quantum of Solace” prior to the sequel “Skyfall” and its release in November. I just got all caught up myself.]
“Adaptation.” 8.75/10 [Dude, this movie is damn good. Nicholas Cage playing twin brothers? ‘Nuff said. But trust me, there’s plenty more in this film to sell you. Just see it for yourself. It’s profound, twisty, and has such a love for the medium as it delves into the very reasons we seek out movies…or why people write them.]
“High School (2010)” 7.5/10 [I waited for this movie for a couple of years. It unfortunately strayed about distribution hell for the longest time (the original red band teaser trailer debuted on 4/20/10, as I recall). Upon its release, I came to find it was exactly what I expected. Adrian Brody is a revelation as Psycho Ed, and the stoner comedy is spot-on in many places. Michael Chiklis turns in quite the turn as the dweeb principal of the school. Light up and watch it.]
“Joe Dirt” 7.5/10 [I know, what kind of movie buff am I if this is the first time I’ve ever seen “Joe Dirt?” Hell, what kind of David Spade fan am I? Well, I watched it. And the best part, in my opinion, is the innocent nature of Dirt himself, reminiscent of Austin Powers’s innocence in his fish-out-of-water lack of knowledge. In this case, it’s innocent stupidity rather than innocent sex, but his niceties is what drives the story in enjoyable directions. Kudos, Spade.]
“Budz House” 6.75/10 [Kevin Hart says that someday this will be a cult classic. Do I agree? Eh, anything’s possible…but this film’s unique flairs only appear after a handful of genre conventions and clichés play out to lead courteously into it. They’re too soft on the audience. Wesley Jonathan’s straight-into-the-camera monologues (nay, narrations) get old immediately, and the obvious premise isn’t softened by a convoluted plot. The movie was 84 minutes long, but it felt like it was approaching the 110 minute mark. Faizon Love as Big Shitty is the best part. I tend to believe cult classics are smarter than the modern audiences. Think “Office Space.” Or “Super Troopers.” This? This was a few flairs in a candy coated shell that goes down exactly as you’d expect, though doesn’t taste great. Just ok.]
“The Three Stooges” 4.5/10 [A piece of fanfic, reverently told. The issue? Well, that brand of humor is far too exploited and exposed for just anyone to recreate that magic. The plot is cute, but the film offers little reason to remember why we loved these lovable baboons in the first place. It recreates, not revives. Also, the pop culture references never belonged in a Stooge movie. Hopefully “Dumb and Dumber Too” fares better.]
“John Carter” 7.5/10 [This film is a tough piece of work to review. A Mars prologue? Voiceover narration in the prologue? I know this movie has flaws. But when you sit back and observe all the things that were done so right (the cultures, the humor, the action, the scope, the languages, the motion capture, the archetypal complexities, the characterizations, that ending), it’s a genuine shame it won’t lead to a grand new movie franchise. At least this one is definitely worth looking into.]

Sep 08

Movies I watched, Sept. 8, 2012:

Yes, it’s that time again. I’ve watched a few movies these past couple weeks. Currently, I’m also trying to finish “That ’70s Show” and “Nip/Tuck.”

On “That ’70s Show”: Up through season 5, it was one of the smartest, cleverest, and well-written sitcoms I’ve ever seen. Then came season 6. Then season 7. Both of which have equally become shallow, obvious, predictable, and just dull. Also, the characters made me overtly angry in their ignorance, which was rarely as frustrating in the prior seasons. Like, when Hyde’s going to marry Jackie, and then she sleeps with Kelso because she wouldn’t stop and give him a minute of her time because she was afraid he was going to turn her down. What a bitch. Same goes for Donna trying to blackmail Eric into not leaving for Africa. Bullshit. Those two women became manipulative, irritating, and downright senseless…and I loved those two for five seasons straight. Shame really. Show should’ve been condensed into seven seasons. That way, the pacing could’ve been at least fixed, and the twists and turns would’ve brought new life to the comedy. Initially, I’d have given the show a 9/10. Now, it’s at max an 8.25/10. And steadily dropping. Especially if Bret Harrison’s Charlie character (brought in late in season 7 to replace the non-contract-renewing Topher Grace) can’t hold his own through season 8, the final season. [UPDATE: I imagine the public’s critical reaction to Charlie made Randy the newbie of the group instead, as I come to see in season 8 that Charlie is nowhere to be found. Lolz]

As for “Nip/Tuck”: I just finished season 3 ep 8, and the show has never been better. The drama, the twists, the sex…it’s all so very epic. I keep fist pumping because it’s so fucking epic. It’s like ancient Greek drama in modern day. P.S. I appreciate that the creators know the Carver storyline is currently their bread-and-butter, and they show that by not solving the Carver case in a string of episodes, but rather over the span of multiple seasons. Very wise. So far, I’d give this show a 8.75/10 or so. Maybe a 9/10 if it keeps it up!

Now, onto the movies!

“Tales From the Hood” 7/10 [It’s a Spike Lee joint (production, not directed by), so you know what the subtext will be. Rather, text, not subtext…because Spike Lee is rarely subtle. But the horror movie conventions he and the director play with here in this anthology are quite impressive. Twisty and turny too, with a brilliant, manic performance by Clarence Williams III, the funeral home director.]
“Darkness Falls” 4/10 [This is an early Jonathan Liebesman film. Which means it stinks. In an unoriginal horror reimagining of the Tooth Fairy myth (been there, done that, not scary), the protagonist just comes off as silly and there’s only a few moments of intrigue. Otherwise, forget about it.]
“Ali G Indahouse” 5/10 [Thank god for Larry Charles (“Borat,” “Bruno,” “The Dictator”). Without him, Sacha Baron Cohen may never have emerged from this typical comedy. Sure, like with any film Sacha makes, there’s some very clever satire (“Keep it real”), as well as just blatantly funny ideas. Unfortunately, they try so very hard to keep it conventional, which keeps Sacha from flying free. That man needs a lot of room to work.]
“Think Like A Man” 6.75/10 [Tim Story is a comedy director, nothing more. However, that doesn’t save this film from being about twenty minutes too long. It could’ve been better reviewed and a box office smash if they just picked up the pacing and trimmed it. The story structure was brilliantly set up in the multiple relationships arc from about 40 minutes in. By the end of the film, no matter how many times I laughed or nodded agreeably, it felt more overlong than Apatow comedies do to me. I wonder how the announced sequel will play out?]
“The Good Son” 8/10 [Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood when they were young. And I mean young. This movie came out in 1993. The best part about this movie is how purely plausible it all is…particularly the bad things that happen, caused by Culkin’s sociopathic character. This is a kid without boundaries, moral or parental, and he’s been purely envisioned and very well-acted. It’s scary, and yet he doesn’t do anything on a big scale, or have some end game. He simply acts out, threatens, and then scares. Solid.]
“God Bless America” 8.75/10 [My roommate compared this film to “Super.” They’re two different beasts, though the dynamic between the lead and his kid sidekick are strikingly similar. This is the atypical “man lashes out against his repressive life and culture” film, with a strong intellectual backbone. The subtext and philosophizing on modern culture is flawless, and serves the film well. I’m starting to become a serious Bobcat Goldthwait fan, after this and “World’s Greatest Dad.”]
“The Help” 8.5/10 [Yes, racial tension movies are not my forte. In fact, I find them frustrating, because it bases such a significant amount of the film on the ignorance of people in their mistreatment of others. It’s a lot more heartfelt than “Do The Right Thing,” though, for sure. Its performances are all flawless (I think Jessica Chastain is an angel. Like, divine)…why hasn’t Octavia Spencer won any awards?? The story unfolds like a novel, but maintains proper focus so that the pacing doesn’t suffer for it. This was a completely understandable choice for a Best Picture nominee. Also, it had a lovely arc about how burying the truth can do serious harm to the individual (or a race), yet setting the truth free can be the right step towards reconciliation.]

Sep 07

[video]

Aug 20

Movies I watched, August 20, 2012:

I’ve been a little bored lately (looking for the ol’ job), so my movie watching has become more frequent.

“Big Momma’s House 2” 5/10 [Couldn’t take it seriously as a film, and made the Big Momma caricature a bit…like a product. Like it’s a brand. Any heartfelt sincerity in the first film is vapid and superficial in this one. Still has its moments, however.]
“Coming to America” 7/10 [Not bad, Eddie Murphy. A solid pre-Borat take on our society and its cultural awareness.]
“My Boss’s Daughter” 3/10 [It’s like a bad onstage comedy. Situational “humor” and simplicity are not on this movie’s side.]
“Valkyrie” 6.5/10 (Re-Review) [It’s good for what it is…but it needed more tension and characterization. And also, Tom Cruise could’ve faked a German accent. How hard could it have been? Also, for how long it took to make this film (the film suffered many delays during production with reshoots, etc), they should’ve simply had more for how much effort they put into it.]
“Boiler Room” 6/10 [Kind of a generic “young person gets caught up in something bad” film. Had some solid parts to it, but the whole is a bit of a drag. The cinematography hurt to look at. The cast was impressive.]
“The People vs. George Lucas” 6.5/10 [Mostly for Star Wars fans. Even if you’re a fan, however, there’s just enough to remain entertaining and informational.]
“The Ides of March” 7/10 [Solid, packs a bit of a punch, but feels overdramatic. Still, says some valuable things on today’s politics.]
“Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical” 6.5/10 [A little redundant in some of its jokes and musical numbers, but still is a fun satire/parody of the smear campaign original.]
“The Devil Inside” 5.25/10 [No, it’s not that scary. But I like the situations and story structure that plays around with moral questions. Typical? In some ways. Yet it uses genre conventions in a proper way considering the subject matter involved.]
“Game Change” 7/10 [Pretty much recaps history, from a solely Republican based point of view. Surprisingly, some of it comes off as refreshing. The Republican candidates play as sensible human beings, peeling back any artificiality given the celebrity status of the storyline. One minor complaint I have is that I wish the plot would’ve focused a little heavier on Palin’s maligning of the campaign. Instead, its central focus was just bringing her into the campaign…the “game change,” as it were.]

Aug 05

Movies I watched, August 5, 2012:

“Lost in Space (1998)” 5.5/10 (Re-Review) [I watched this movie many times as a kid. It’s biggest flaw when re-reviewed: once they get lost in space, that’s when things become random and lack cohesive guidance. It manages to be creative despite this, and the characters are alright. I suppose it feels to episodic for film.]
“The Dark Knight Rises” 7.75/10 [Of course I was looking forward to this movie as much as everyone else. However…Bane wasn’t as effective as expected, Batman getting broken was very understated for how anticipated it was, the twist villain was…unnecessary, and I never felt Batman had returned or ”risen” like we were told he would. Sure the ending is very satisfying…not as a Batman film, but as the conclusion to Nolan’s series.]
“Lockout” 6.5/10 [Guy Pearce has a fantastic role here. The cast was solid. Maggie Grace is hot as ever. The only thing about it is that it’s perhaps a tad generic. Still a fun time though.]
“The Three Musketeers (2011)” 7/10 [That is certainly more fun than expected. It’s witty, it’s stylish. It’s the “Sherlock Holmes” and “Pirates of the Caribbean” version of “The Three Musketeers.”]
“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” 8.25/10 [Clever film covering creationism and many existential and/or authoritative philosophical routes, all in a cheeky British sci-fi about the end of the world and the journey beyond that. The cast is amazing, who have all reached fame since the initial release of this film.]
“Changing Lanes” 7/10 [Solid film in itself, but doesn’t prove to be much more profound than well-executed and intriguing.]